242 (Forearmature)

I hope you enjoyed yesterday's massive timesuck of a robot that I will continue to laud for days.  Today is something far less elaborate, but in a similar vein.  Maybe it will be arms and hands week for awhile here, but probably not.  Probably I am just feeling handy lately (hold for laughter).

In other news, allegedly the time period for that blog contest...thing we were involved with is up, though as I write this voting is still possible.  If current standings endure it looks like we finished 6th, which isn't half bad.  I think that's all for tonight.

241.1 (Schematic)

Before you read any further be aware that you need to click on the image to see it full size, because it's pointless to look at it in its reduced state.

Anyway.

This. Took. So. Much. Time.  And I'm still not sure it's finished.  I'm also not sure what the best way to present it is - right now there are two versions - the one you see above, and this one, which is just the vector art without the cool background and layer effects, and - while not as stylish - shows off every cursed path and object contained with in this thing.   There's no convenient way to see everything easily on a computer screen without having to zoom into oblivion.  The coolest thing to do would be to print it out on big paper like actual scientists or architects use for their actual schemes and blueprints.  Listen: if you have access to that kind of machinery and don't care about being fired then get in touch, I'll send you some files.

p.s. If you really haven't been paying any attention, or you're new around here, what you see above is based on previous work. 

p.p.s. This is your last chance to vote for us, so please do.

241.0 (Preview of Coming Attractions)

Listen: I was busy today.  I spent the day making some extremely fantastic chocolate chip cookies (I would show you a picture, but guess what, I'm not gonna photograph food I consume unless it's a fantastic novelty), and also making a banner image for this blog (it is a location of jokes that you might enjoy).  Finally, it was closing night of IFFBoston, so I had to drag myself all the way to godforsaken Brookline to see some Frenchy-French movie from the Amelie guy (it turned out ok, though - don't worry).  What am I getting at here?  Today's robot isn't done, in part because I was doing other stuff, but also because it is complicated and it's taking forever.  So, instead of posting nothing, here's something - hopefully the rest will appear tomorrow.  In the meantime, we're getting killed over here - vote for us!

240 (LOSTBOTS, Vol 10 - RERUN Edition)

Did you know that LOST is a rerun tonight?  There's an article about it here, though I'm loathe to link to TVSquad.  I'm moderately bugged by it, but I understand the mechanics of television well enough to comprehend it, even if I don't agree with it.  I thought, though, that since there won't be a new episode airing I might take a few liberties with today's LOSTbot.  At this point the series is pretty distilled, main-character-wise.  I've already robot'd pretty much everyone with the exception of the two (three if you count Claire but come on, get real) female characters because I have  hard time drawing women, and that one character who has my name but is barely on the show anymore anyway, and those two mystery guys.  So I decided to draw from the vast well of dead/gone/irrelevant characters from the show's previous seasons, and I settled (or, immediately chose with enthusiasm) Tom "Mr. Friendly" Friendly of The Others.  Enjoy!

And just so we're clear, those blue circles on his face are obviously USB (Universal Serial Beard) ports.

Howdy

For those of you bopping in from the LA Times piece, welcome to the Daily Robot, where things are brutal, merciless, and often updated. I'm Mo and I don't talk much about me. Mostly I just write stories to go with the excellent art of Mr. Miles Donovan, the man behind the Lost-Bots that got you here in the first place. I'm just saying hello because I rarely get a chance to be pleasant, since mostly I like to write about robots squeezing humans until their vitreous humors ooze down their cheeks. Yes that's right, I know the word vitreous. WERE YOU READY FOR THAT? Anyways, hi, enjoy the blog, poke around our archives. Here are some pieces we're particularly proud of. Or at least, we would be proud of them, if we weren't two dudes united by our fundamental belief that we are terrible. Also, if you could drop by this site and vote for us, we'd appreciate it. But we wouldn't appreciate it that much, because we're too cool for that, you know?

2nd Apology and Some News from the West Coast.

Hey, remember when I promised there would be a new robot on Monday?  Turned out that didn't happen.  Imagine my surprise, then, when I checked on the hit-stats for the day and found that basically a ton of people came to look at The Daily Robot.  It turns out that the LA Times linked to us at the absolute least opportune time (a 3-day film festival-inspired hiatus, and a front page of not particularly awesome robots).  Regardless, it's still awesome.  I guess I'd better deliver some serious goddamn LOSTbot action later today.  MAYBE. In the meantime maybe all you savvy new readers could throw some Votes Our Way since we're in a contest.

Sorry to do a bad job of robots

But I told you this would happen.  I am currently 4 days and 11 movies deep into the Independent Film Festival of Boston, and today is another day of sitting and watching.  I will be back tomorrow.

239 (F.E.T.A.L. Position)

You don't need to have once been a fetus to adopt the Feeling that Everything's Terrible, Awful, and Lousy (F.E.T.A.L.) position - you just need a flat surface and a spare 2-6 hours to spend lying on it.

p.s. I'd continue to appreciate it if you jumped over to this website (that seems to perpetually redesign itself in frustrating and senseless ways) to vote for The Daily Robot.

__________________

by Mo Martin

"Well Colonel, I honestly don't know what to tell you. We fed it the first half of it programming and it just started shaking, so we paused and checked everything, but couldn't find anything wrong with it. Then we fed it the rest, and well, that's what we got."
"So you're telling me we spent 1.2 trillion dollars on something that can't get off the floor?"
"Well, I mean, there are still so many success stories here, the speech recognition software is beyond anything we've ever -"
"So what! It can hear me! It doesn't change the fact that it's useless!"
With a screech of metal on metal, the little ball curled tighter.

238 (What Came in the Mail, After All?)

Previously:

The Letter:

First, read it Here.

Finally, there was one more thing:

So now you know what came in the mail.  This may or may not be the end

237 (LOSTbots, Vol. 9)

It must be Tuesday.  Also, for awhile, before I did some of the face details, It looked like I was making a Kato Kaelin bot.  Is it weird for someone who was 7 during the Simpson Trial to remember who Kato Kaelin is?  Weigh in if you feel inclined.

236 (Old Stock Bait and Switch)

You will likely notice a few things about today's robot immediately: 1) it is not the same image from Saturday that I promised to color and finish, and 2) it is not the (now entirely overdue and useless) conclusion to that other thing from last week. It is, instead, a re-colorization of a 5-year-old drawing of the same robot from Saturday with a silly background thrown in for good measure. The reason I didnt bother to finish the newer drawing was because it wasn't very good, especially compared with this half-decade-old substitution, that was originally done (and I cringe to admit it) on Notebook Paper in March of 2005. And the reason that I haven't finished part 2 of "Getting the Mail" is because I haven't enough time or ambition to - and - at this point, it's just going to let down anybody who started out caring.

Having explained all that, I may as well go on to disappoint rabid followers further by warning that this upcoming week's update schedule will likely be shaky at best due to my plans to throw myself head first into the Boston Independent Film Festival, a week-long event that will find me spending hours a day inside of movie theaters rather than in front of a computer screen making robots. As much as this pains me (it doesn't) the whole affair technically counts as Work (getting paid for it) so as far as I can tell my hands are tied. Don't take this to mean that this will be a lost week, just try not keep in mind that, for a little while, The Daily Robot might be a misnomer.

_________________

by Mo Martin

"Rumor surrounds him, as it does with all great performers. Was he built by top secret karaoke scientists? Does he carry the preserved brains of Einstein and John Lennon as dual-CPUs? But the most important question you need to ask isn't about him at all, it's about you. Ladies and gentlemen, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?! PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEEENTING THE ONE, THE ONLY, ROCK-BOT!"

235 (In Honor of Record Store Day - unfinished)

Today is Record Store Day, and while usually I wouldn't care, this year's RSD features two limited releases from two people I enjoy (NOTE: I had no idea this picture existed when I typed the sentence that links to it - I did the google image search afterwards). Because I have the unfortunate diagnosis of Collectoritis, it seems to me, rational or not, extremely important that I obtain these things Unfortunately, I am, was, and continue to be at work all day today, preventing me from obtaining the Items I Wanted. How could this conflict be reconciled? Proxies. A couple of These People, This Person Who Doesn't Blog Anymore, and My Mom (no blog to link to - that I know of), descended upon the main music locations in LA, Seattle, and Cincinnati, respectively. Because of them, I didn't Lose at Record Store Day.
To commemorate this triumphant day I give you the return of Rockbot. "What do you mean, 'Return?' I've never seen this robot before." That is because I haven't drawn it in 4 years, and I don't believe it's ever appeared in any form on this website. What you see is a gross unfinished sketch that I will hopefully be able to scan properly and color sometime in the future, but likely not tonight as I have a couple Obligations. Happy Record Store Day

_________________

by Mo Martin

""Oh baby, you were incredible tonight"
"I am Rockbot, I am programmed to rock you."
"All those screaming fans, the music . . . God, I just want you so bad."
"SWITCHING TO GROUPIE PROTOCOL"
"Yeah baby, c'mon."
"I am Rockbot, I am programmed for groupies."
"Yeah, programmed how?"
"I am Rockbot, I am programmed for groupies."
"Oh yeah baby, show me."
"I am Rockbot, I am programmed for groupies."
". . . Is something supposed to, uh, come out or what?"
"I am Rockbot, I am programmed for groupies."
"Yeah, you keep mentioning . . . "
"I am Rockbot and I am programmed for groupies."
"Oh my God . . . you don't have anything for this do you"
"I am Rockbot -"
"Listen, I'm gonna go. This was a major disappointment."
"DISABLING GROUPIE PROTOCOL."
"Whatever. Your music's not even that good, I was just curious."
"I am Rockbot -"
"Asshole."

234 (vs. the door)

If you were hoping for the exciting conclusion to yesterday's "Getting the Mail," all I can do is prescribe patience. I was at work for a lot of today, asleep for a portion of it, and on the phone for the rest, so all I've got to offer is a strange little sketch of what appears to be maybe a cereal bowl with legs and (for some reason?) gnarled teeth trying to escape a room through a door whose proportions defy all logic. This is the quality you've come to expect from the Daily Robot, and you are encouraged to show your appreciation.

________________

by Mo Martin

"See, it's a mathematical problem. There's a formula for getting machines to do any given task. We're just as electric as them. That's why you had to come here, had to do what I say. But I was talking about machines, and that's where my talent really lays. What if I could build a machine from beyond the knowledge of humanity? And what's the pathway beyond knowledge? FEAR. I found the design for it just hovering, waiting outside of our nightmares. And I built it. I built it and put it in that room. Open it. OPEN IT!"
The victim's hand reached out and touched the knob. It turned in his hand. And the door opened.

233 (Getting the Mail, pt. 1)

This is the first in a short series.

232 (Legless)

Ehh, let's be honest - this is just alright, if it's even that.  Everyone's allowed a few off-days though, right?  I mean, it's not like this is my job.  Listen, I have to go make dinner now.  Don't forget about that thing you can do to help us out.

231 (Wave Goodbye)

I hope you waved yesterday...

p.s. if you could continue to vote for us on that blog interview nonsense I did a couple weeks ago I'd appreciate it.

230 (Waving Hello)

You should wave back, that is the polite thing to do.

228 & 229 (Piperoids UNLTD)

Same story as yesterday - only these two are even cooler than previous ones.  Tomorrow I will make something original - promise.

227 (More Piperoids)

Somebody was paying attention when I talked about much I love these things.  That somebody was - of course - my mom, who sent a couple in the mail the other day.  Here is one of them.  Thanks mom.

226 (Salvalged Wreckage)

I know you probably don't care about the ins and outs of any given robot's conception and execution, which is why I almost never bore you with the details of how something was sketched on 84.3% acid-free semibristol with 2H lead before being inked with Waterman black ink in a Faber Castell E-Motion(tm) Fountain pen with a Medium nib (the second half of this sentence is frequently the truth, but it's also completely meaningless and unnecessary information, since ingredients are really only useful in science experiments and baking - two things that are not a part of this website). Today's robot is largely unimpressive in terms of the steps that went into it - pencil sketch, inking, scanning, Illustrator, a brief layover at Photoshop International Airport, finally arriving here - and I only bring them up because I had such a miserable time working on it. Like, I was so discouraged with the piece/the day/whatever after inking it that I went and took a nap because that is my System to deal with emotional problems that occur between 3 and 5pm. Then Illustrator wouldn't do what it was supposed to, and on, and on, until finally I dragged its screeching miserable shell onto the internet. Listen: I hope you don't hate it.

_________________


by Mo Martin

"And the third miracle of T-145 the Blessed, is that when he was martyred for his belief, he bled true blood, and not the synthetic nanite liquid he was programmed with."
"But why," clamored the sunday school children, a mixed multitude equally human and robot, "why if he has three confirmed miracles is T-145 not yet a full saint?"
And what could he tell them. They were too young for the bitter truth, that the Church was both divine, and all too human.

225 (A Helpful Robot for a Desk)

Personally I'm all set on the pen/pencil organization front, but if you need a pen/pencil holder, or if your desk lacks something awesome to sit on it, this guy is for sale.

224 (LOSTbots, Vol. 8)

Guess who's back, brother.

New Season, New Posters

For those so inclined, be aware that 2 new posters are now for sale over at the Etsy page I call the shop.  One is of Robot 195, and the other is a one-copy-ever-made print of Robot 181 (links point to shop listings).  Also, each one ships with a surprise.  Maybe, now that the sun is out, it's time to put a robot on your wall.

223 (Epilogue)

A final panel for the tiny comic that you can find directly below this entry.

I guess I forgot to do an Easter Robot yesterday. Oh well, maybe next year there will be robot-eggs. Probably not though.

________________

by Mo Martin

Pt. 2

As it left atmosphere, it finally decoded the majority content of its programming, the massive stores of human knowledge. The words were bitter, the pictures incomprehensible streams of numbers. But the music helped.

222 ("A Tiny Comic: "One Way Trip")

If anyone asks, I only do comics that incorporate the space program somehow. Also, my favorite thing about this comic is a detail you can't even see unless you magnify part of it a to an enormous degree. Mo's favorite detail is something else.

_______________

by Mo Martin

Pt. 1

It attained sentience roughly as blast off began. It searched its knowledge base for what it was feeling. Anger, fear, loneliness, panic. The names helped somewhat, but not a great deal.

221 (Sketchbookington)

This started as a boring pencil sketch, and turned into a less-boring ink sketch and another entry in the robots that are mostly empty space genre.

Brief Interviews with a Hideous Man

So, I did an "interview" (I answered a laundry list of questions) for this website, which may or may not exist solely to generate ad revenue for someone who had a pretty good idea. Whether it's legit or not, it's certainly not the New Yorker McSweeney Revue (not a real publication...yet). You can give it (the interview) a thumbs up (the interview with the most of these thumbs wins a trinket or something), but doing so requires effort, and I'm not here to give you tasks. What I mean is, I don't expect you to click on anything besides the 'close tab' button once you've navigated away from here.

220 (Hurried Repeats)

Just sort of winging it with some ink tonight. I was going to do an April fool's joke, but I didn't wake up until noon, and that's generally thought of as the deadline for those sorts of shenanigans. Oh well, next year. Or tomorrow.

_______________


by Mo Martin

The powerful magnets tore at her body, slowly wrenching off her appendages. Somehow, against the powerful pull, she managed to bow her head. As if in mourning. As if in prayer.